I have a confession to make: I am a chronic self-doubter (is there a technical name for that?).
Now, most of the time it's an easy bug to squash: I simply tell my inner voice to shut up and let me continue on with my life. It's still there, sure, but I can drown it out with my music or the loud thoughts I have that pertain to my writing. Problem solved.
Then there's times like the last few weeks, where it's louder than everything else, and where I can barely function, let alone get a few solid blog posts out a week without it becoming completely debilitating. So here's what's up:
Lately, I've been scrambling for blog posts, and I'm pretty sure the reason is because I can find nothing to talk about that ya'll don't already know, or that could be of use to anybody who reads this. I feel like I have nothing to offer you, and the last thing I want is to make reading this blog a waste of time.
Why am I saying this? Not for pity or anything; it's simply the truth. There are far more experienced people out there who have far more useful blogs than my own, and I am totally okay with that. What I'm not okay with is the fact that I personally feel like I don't know enough about writing (indeed, I've been struggling with my own WIP for some time, now) to be able to give ya'll advice or to talk about writing.
And I want to know more.
What does this mean for The Wallflower?
For the next few weeks, simply expect fewer posts from me. I want to focus on the last few weeks of my spring semester at school, read like my life depends on it, and I want to try to make some headway in my writing without the stress of figuring out what's next on the blog. In the meantime, I'll be brainstorming like my life depends on it to figure out what's next for the blog and everything else.
I hope ya'll understand. Because, honestly, I feel like I'm flaking out. I don't like disappointing people, but I feel like I'm disappointing myself in not giving myself a break to figure out what I want in the next phase of that giant void called life. What do I have to offer ya'll right now? I have no clue.
But if ya'll will hang in there with me, I'm willing to figure it out.
I'm still going to be all over the Twitter-sphere, since I'm pretty much addicted (which means I'd love conversation). I'm still going to post a few book reviews (some I've had scheduled for blog tours, and others just to keep myself accountable to my TBR list while school winds down). If by some miracle I find something I really want to talk about in the world of writing, then I'll write something up.
I just don't think I'll be keeping to the four-day-a-week posting that I've had.
Until then, there's lots of other great blogs on writing that I encourage ya'll to check out: Writability, She's Novel, Better Novel Project, and Briana Mae Morgan. There's so many more out there, too.
I'll keep ya'll updated on my apparent identity crisis. Until then, I hope ya'll know that the last year of my blogging life has been an amazing one, and that I'm so amazingly grateful for all the great people I've met and who've encouraged and inspired me in ways they might not even know.